Under you, Under me, Undermanned Undecided

The Slammers came out blazing last night in a spiteful grand final
replay. A surprise player shuffle had the Phantomz rattled, as the
Slammers shot to a 6 / 0 lead curtesy of a couple of sweet 3s from
previously unheralded outside shooters Nugara and Grenfell. The big
men, starting in the guard positions with the absence Harper, who was
in Sydney for the dress rehearsal of the Mardi Gras. "As much as I
love the Slammers, dressing up in a leather G-String comes first",
Harper reportedly advised the coach. Coach Staff was very
understanding and advised Harper that he too sometimes felt the urge
to don black panties and a bra.

A quick time out was called by the Phantoms, where they realised that
they had an extra man than the Slammers. Controversially, they then
decided to put full court pressure on the top heavy Slammers, the Donk
proceeded to tell them that only pricks did that when they were
playing on 4 players. But the Donks articulate pleading was
disregarded and the Phantomz blew past the Slammers to take a
commanding lead at the half.

At the break, coach Staff again said nothing and a disgruntled Block
told Staff to make a suggestion or he would eat his children. Fans
were also upset at Staff's eastern coaching philosophies where he
meditates during the game rather than makes moves. In the post game
press conference an angry Block denied that it was Staff's idea to
spring a surprise with the new look line up, "he couldn't even spring
a slinky" stated Block.

With the Donk leading the way inside to collect a season high 19
points, Nugara and Block each contributed 10 apiece. Unfortunately
Teker couldn't add to his halftime score of zero.

The Donk, buoyed by his one of two 3 pointers in the first half,
proceeded to take that tally to 1 of 5 by the end of the game.
However his inside game was devastating, and it appears he has made a
commitment to scoring more heavily (if his stats on assists are any
guide) and making himself look better in the review and for the
canteen girl, who again had him drooling like a puppy dog.

Nugara, revitalised by the off season and the stint at club Nicko, was
devastating from outside the arc, hitting 66% for the game.
Unfortunately, his direct opponents hit 200% at the other end. His
form from the 3-point line may have gone to his head, with the
talented big man stating that "this guard thing isn't too hard, I
don't see what the fuss is about, I could do this every week".

Block played a solid game, to collect his ten points. Some great
inside moves and a few 3 point attempts that looked really good,
except they missed everything. Blocks career 3 now moving to 1 from
15 attempts. This pre-season form from the big man will be very much
needed when the season proper begins next week. As Staff has claimed
on many occasions, "all offence should go through the hands of Block,
no body is more offensive than Gavin, particularly after a few ales".

A quality game by Teker, no points but his preparation was terrific,
he trash talked the Donk, offered him money if Donk hit more threes
than him. Fortunately for Teker, Donk didn't accept his bet. However
he did flex for the crowd after the game.

All in all a fair result for the Slammers, the BIG 3 in sparkling
form, playing in unorthodox positions. They looked fresh and were
having a lot of fun out there. "There is a good feeling around the
club at the moment, I hope we can carry this throughout the upcoming
season" said a reflective coach Staff after the game.

Vinod Luckshman - Slammernet